I admit it,
I love this time of year.
Actually by this time of year, I mean the final two weeks
of December and the first two weeks of January.
I get lost reading postings on websites and blogs recapping
favorite things, books, movies and memories.
I love the reading challenges springing
up all over the place.
It’s a bad idea to take a social media break during
this time because somehow (it is a conspiracy)
I always get sucked into the vortex of reading about
other people’s resolutions, goals and the words
they are choosing for the new year.
Oh how I enjoy the energy and
hopefulness most people cradle tightly during the infancy
of a new calendar year.
I am no different.
I no longer use the word resolution in favor
But I have filled my journal with hopes and
dreams and an ever-growing list of books
Near the middle of last November, I was driving
home anticipating an upcoming doctor’s appointment.
I remember pondering many questions and devising
scenarios that I am certain there were blocks passed
Within the confines of my seat and the hug of my
seat belt, I seemed to hear these words as I continued
to toss thoughts inside my head,
Just be faithful.
But what about…?
Just be faithful.
During the next several weeks,
the word “faithful” seemed to be in
bold-type during my times reading
the Bible and my pen was ready
to underline every occurrence.
One morning a wonderful reminder was found in one of my favorite psalms:
Trust in the LORD, and do good; dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness. Psalm 37:3
In early December, my daughter Courtney told me she would like
to take me to lunch and shopping.
We planned to do this during the holidays but we didn’t want
any hurt feelings by leaving family members out of our fun.
So we decided on the first day back to work and school which
Mondays always signal the day I attempt to prepare for the week ahead,
my list is lengthy and check marks become my love language.
I woke up groggy on Monday and everyone else under
our roof did as well.
It would have been very easy to dismiss this date because
it was Monday and there were check marks to amass.
But I had an invitation to be treated well.
We had a wonderful lunch and with full bellies
shop for boots.
After several attempts, I found a pair.
I glanced at the price and wanted to put the boots back.
Courtney told me how much she loved the boots on me
and asked if I wanted this pair.
I launched a few more “how do I look” questions
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, as long as you don’t talk yourself out
of buying them.
I budgeted for this day
and today is way below what I expected.”
Our children, young and old, see and
know us well.
There isn’t any way to hide.
So guess what?
I have a brand new pair of boots.
I want to know all the answers
and every conceivable outcome.
I want to head off each worst case scenario.
I want to make sure no one pays too much for me
or is too inconvenienced by me either.
God says be faithful.
How many good things
have I talked myself out of?
How often have I taken a momentary
slip-up and viewed it as fuel to abandon
what could have been mine?
Seriously, I could have been a contender
if I had kept moving forward embracing
my humanness instead of trying to grasp
Do I believe my goals and
dreams cost too much?
Am I only worthy of clearance
priced dreams and not allowed
full sticker price ones?
Will I simply allow myself
to be loved well?
I think being faithful isn’t always
about getting the chores accomplished,
but allowing someone to surprise you.
I do know it is honoring relationship over
I know being faithful doesn’t mean anything
unless it is cultivated over time with
My intentions don’t always materialize into
reality and I have already learned
when I fail at being faithful in any of my
roles, I must be faithful to apologize quickly.
I want to believe with all my heart that
faithfulness is all about dwelling in the land and
sinking our feet deeply in the earth of today.
This year, I want to make friends with faithfulness.
Faithfulness possesses many of the qualities
I have ascribed it
but I know there are
holes in my practice.
I want to be faithful
and embrace faithfulness.
I want to see God who is
There will be days when I am scrambling
around barefoot holding my agenda
but I hope to do less of that dance.
This year (and hopefully always)
I aim to not bypass the moments
when a gift arrives and slips on my
feet as solidly as a brand new
pair of boots,
ready to be broken in by
a faithful land dweller.