{embrace} faithfulness

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I admit it,

I love this time of year.

Actually by this time of year, I mean the final two weeks

of December and the first two weeks of January.

I get lost reading postings on websites and blogs recapping

favorite things, books, movies and memories.

I love the reading challenges springing

up all over the place.

It’s a bad idea to take a social media break during

this time because somehow (it is a conspiracy)

I always get sucked into the vortex of reading about

other people’s resolutions, goals and the words

they are choosing for the new year.

Oh how I enjoy the energy and

hopefulness most people cradle tightly during the infancy

of a new calendar year.

I am no different.

I no longer use the word resolution in favor

of pursuits.

But I have filled my journal with hopes and

dreams and an ever-growing list of books

to read.

Near the middle of  last November, I was driving

home anticipating an upcoming doctor’s appointment.

I remember pondering  many questions and devising

scenarios that I am certain there were blocks passed

without notice.

Within the confines of my seat and the hug of my

seat belt, I seemed to hear these words as I continued

to toss thoughts inside my head,

Just be faithful.

But what about…?

Just be faithful.

During the next several weeks,

the word “faithful” seemed to be in

bold-type during my times reading

the Bible and my pen was ready

to underline every occurrence.

One morning a wonderful reminder was found in one of my favorite psalms:

Trust in the LORD, and do good;
dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness.

Psalm 37:3

**********

In early December, my daughter Courtney told me she would like

to take me to lunch and shopping.

We planned to do this during the holidays but we didn’t want

any hurt feelings by leaving family members out of our fun.

So we decided on the first day back to work and school which

was yesterday.

Mondays always signal the day I attempt to prepare for the week ahead,

my list is lengthy and check marks become my love language.

I woke up groggy on Monday and everyone else under

our roof did as well.

It would have been very easy to dismiss this date because

it was Monday and there were check marks to amass.

But I had an invitation to be treated well.

We had a wonderful lunch and with full bellies

proceeded to

shop for boots.

After several attempts, I found a pair.

I glanced at the price and wanted to put the boots back.

Courtney told me how much she loved the boots on me

and asked if I wanted this pair.

I launched a few more “how do I look” questions

and then,

“Are you sure?”

She said,

“Yes, as long as you don’t talk yourself out

of buying them.

I budgeted for this day

and today is way below what I expected.”

Our children, young and old, see and

know us well.

There isn’t any way to hide.

So  guess what?

I have a brand new pair of boots.

I want to know all the answers

and every conceivable outcome.

I want to head off each worst case scenario.

I want to make sure no one pays too much for me

or is too inconvenienced by me either.

God says be faithful.

How many good things

have I talked myself out of?

How often have I taken a  momentary

slip-up and viewed it as fuel to abandon

what could have been mine?

Seriously, I could have been a contender

if I had kept moving forward embracing

my humanness instead of trying to grasp

perfection.

Do I believe my goals and

dreams cost too much?

Am I only worthy of clearance

priced dreams and not allowed

full sticker price ones?

Will I simply allow myself

to be loved well?

I think being faithful isn’t always

about getting the chores accomplished,

but allowing someone to surprise you.

I do know it is honoring relationship over

self-imposed obligations.

I know being faithful doesn’t mean anything

unless it is cultivated over time with

experience.

My intentions don’t always materialize into

reality and I have already learned

when I fail at being faithful in any of my

roles, I must be faithful to apologize quickly.

I want to believe with all my heart that

faithfulness is all about dwelling in the land and

sinking our feet deeply in the earth of today.

This year, I want to make friends with faithfulness.

Faithfulness possesses many of the qualities

I have ascribed it

but  I know there are

holes in my practice.

I want to be faithful

and embrace faithfulness.

I want to see God who is

always faithful.

There will be days when I am scrambling

around barefoot holding my agenda

but I hope to do less of that dance.

This year (and hopefully always)

I aim to not bypass the moments

when a gift arrives and slips on my

feet as solidly as a brand new

pair of boots,

ready to be broken in by

a faithful land dweller.

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4 thoughts on “{embrace} faithfulness

  1. Karen L says:

    A word has picked me: trust. “Trust and see that the Lord is good”….”etc. Last year it was “refuge…..”.

    Like

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