I have proclaimed 2011 as the year of living life fully.
In fact, on the sidebar of this blog is a heart containing the words
These words have been my proverbial line in the sand.
I don’t want to just go through the motions of life.
I don’t want to start my Monday wishing for Saturday.
I want to be fully present and alive in each moment of each day.
Initially I thought that part of this would mean that I would embrace the fun in life.
Remember how I said that I wanted to read the comics everyday and not just on Sunday.
Is a laugh in Technicolor on Sunday better than a black and white one on any given weekday?
What I am learning (and I might add, the hard way) is that living fully may not always be composed of doing what I want, when I want.
This past week, it was perceived that I would do a couple of different things.
I am not even going to specify because it doesn’t really matter or add anything to this post.
The bottom line was that when I finished reading the email or hung up the phone, I wasn’t joyful.
I felt tense.
I felt stressed.
I felt a bit inconvenienced because I had my own plans.
Once again, I want to call the shots of my day and be in control…ha!
*Now I wasn’t like the son who was asked to do something and said yes but didn’t do the task.
Nor was I the son that said no but did it anyway.
I was the other son that perhaps scripture forgot to identify.
I was the son that said yes and did the task but my attitude wasn’t that stellar.
Did I feel joy after the fact?
The key is to find joy before, during and after.
My life is not my own.
As I said to Carl in the car ride from church today,
“If I am going to live life fully, then I must embrace that my life is fully God’s.”
The full life is taking one day at a time. Not looking at unexpected “things” as obstacles, distractions or inconveniences.
This full life is about looking at all the ways that God manifests Himself in our days and seeing ourselves as His agents on His behalf.
I don’t want to be single-minded or half-hearted.
I want to be used.
Used up by God.
For His glory.
I want my knee jerk response to grasps the blessing of being used by Him.
My purposes are so different than His.
How much I will miss if I stay in my own line of sight.
Give me a heart that beats for you alone.
A mind that is quick to dwell on praise rather than burden.
Hands and feet that will rush to the places of need.
I want to be fully Yours.
No matter what transpires in a given day, it is the day that has been given to me by You.
I will rejoice in it!
*Matthew 21: 28-32