relapse…

I believe that I have mentioned that I am a recovering “Martha”.

As much as I have the heart and soul of a contemplative…I am a Martha in many ways.

Not only have I resembled the Martha that was busy with preparations instead of sitting at the feet of Jesus,
BUT I have also been called by this name in life.

I think it is a last name like Washington and a first name being somewhat “old-fashioned”.
Put the two together and if a person can’t recall my name…out comes Martha.

It has been a bit of a giggle between me and God for sometime.

Well, I believe in being honest on this blog.

I  want to show you the real me not the one that can take a nice picture supposing
I live in a magazine (cough choke).  Believe me there is enough dog hair floating around here
to have us all coughing and choking.

Carl and I were to host our first couple’s group last night in our home.

Although I had gone into the week with all the best of intentions of being low-key, it didn’t last.

I brought my sickness into the week and then Carl was heavy-laden with a cold and Caleb was home for two days from school as well.

My resolve to live a day, and a part of a day, at a time came toppling down like a Jenga tower.

All of sudden I was back in the land of Martha with so much to do and so little time and it was anything but pretty.

I wish that I could blame it all on the enemy but it was me.

I moved locations at the blink of an eye.

I packed my bags and returned to old patterns when my perceived control had vacated.

Yesterday I forgot to eat.

I forgot to  fortify with physical and spiritual food.

Every good Martha worth their salt knows that we don’t have time to sit and eat or sit and EAT!

No one is going to do what we HAVE to do!

Let us pause for a moment of heavy sighing.

 

Here I am today.

Last night was really wonderful in every way.

A precious gem in the midst of rubble.

When everyone was gone…

I asked Carl to give me a hug…which he did.

Then I told him he could shake me and tell me to knock it off!

He just hugged me again and said it was alright.

He’s great like that!

Today, I sat and ate and sat and ATE some more.

I will get to what I read this morning but first I want to share with you what I could have read yesterday.

 

I AM WITH YOU AND FOR YOU.

You face nothing alone–nothing!

When you feel anxious, know that you are focusing
on the visible world and leaving Me out of the
picture.

The remedy is simple:  Fix your eyes not on what is
seen but on what is unseen.  Verbalize your trust
in Me, the Living One who sees you always.

I will get you safely through the day and all your days.
But you can only find me in the present.  Each day is a precious gift from My Father.

How ridiculous to grasp for future gifts when today’s is set before you!
Receive today’s gift gratefully, unwrapping it tenderly and delving into its depths.

As you savor this gift, you find Me.


Romans 8: 31; 2 Cor. 4: 18; Gen. 16: 13


I missed a lot of yesterday by focusing on the visible world.  For that I am saddened.

Since my focus was on the wrong things, I felt like I was all alone.

All I can say about that place is that it is lonely and everything seems to cause irritation.

Don’t visit this place.

I have the t-shirts, the hats, the sweats and a scarf or two.

Trust me, they are no longer in fashion.

Your kids will laugh at you…they really will.

Not in a laughing “with you” kind of way either.


Today I read:


BRING ME YOUR WEAKNESS, and receive My Peace.

Accept yourself and your circumstances just as they are,
remembering that I am sovereign over everything.

Do not wear yourself out with analyzing and planning.

Instead, let thankfulness and trust be your guides through this day;
they will keep you close to Me.


I did a lot of analyzing why everything was going wrong yesterday.  It gave me
anything but peace.  I just made me more grumpy.  How fun is that?

I am thankful that God and Carl have something in common and that is that God also enfolded
me today with the reminder that it was a new day and that it was alright.

The majority of my life is all about  recovery.  He is just helping me to dust myself off quicker now.

So if you are throwing a big Super Bowl shindig this weekend, enjoy the time. Don’t stress out about

dust bunnies and such.  People just want to be included and welcomed.

A good guacamole doesn’t hurt either!


Below is the scripture associated with the devotional for today, read it and then read it again.

When you read it a second or even a third time, change all those pronouns to “me”.

Let this familiar blessing wash over your mind, your heart and your soul.

Feel it in your bones.

Let Him pour peace on you from the top of your counted hairs to your itty bitty toes.


Let Him bless you this day.  Whatever your weakness even if it is 180 degrees from mine,

offer it to Him and receive His peace.

He wants to dwell with you in your days not peer at you  through  a window.


The Lord bless you and watch, guard, and keep you;

The Lord make His face to shine upon and enlighten you and be gracious, kind, merciful, and giving favor to you;

The Lord lift up His [approving] countenance upon you and give you peace ,tranquility of heart and life continually.

Numbers 6: 24-26

 

Have a blessed weekend!

 

**Note: this was not my breakfast pictured above…oh how I miss berries of a reasonable price grown locally!
But that time will come one day at a time.

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2 thoughts on “relapse…

  1. Felicia says:

    Martha,Martha, Martha,
    You must have been named for your Mom rather than your G.Moms. Thanks for the reminder and scripture. Love u, Mor

    Like

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