But for God…

I wrote recently about dealing with some health issues…it has been a time period of ups and downs…tests and more tests…a missing gall bladder…lots of questions and not many answers…it has been a sliver in my side…the answers came this morning…my gall bladder does reside in my body and it has some stones that definitely don’t belong there.

I will have surgery on Tuesday…6 weeks to the day of when this all began…it seemed to take such a long time…it was difficult to be patient…to not let worry consume my time…but I have learned that God did not waste even a moment from the mystery until the solution.

Waiting in nuclear medicine for the first of my scans…seeing cancer patients come and go for treatment.

Waiting a second time in nuclear medicine and seeing those same cancer patients returning….many of them with little hair but still able to offer a smile.

That second time laying on the cold slab of the tube after an hour and starting to panic…trying to remember every scripture I knew…and when that was exhausted…praise songs would suffice to bring anxiety to peace.  A very needed reminder that I have to continually hide God’s Word in my heart and mind.  This scripture took on new meaning:

“In the multitude of my anxious thoughts within me, Your comforts cheer and delight my soul!”

Psalm 94: 19 (AMP)

The final test on Tuesday…laying in yet another tube…sedated this time…thank the Lord for medications…a nice technician that kept my mind busy with lots of breathing out and holding my breath…45 minutes never went so quickly.

This morning in the waiting room of my soon to be surgeon reading these scriptures compiled in Daily Light…for this day…this day that the Lord has made…this day that the Lord knew what I would be facing:

“I have seen his ways, and will heal him.”  Isaiah 57: 18

“I am the LORD who heals you.”  Exodus 15: 26

“LORD, You have searched me and known me.  You know my sitting down and my rising up; You understand my thoughts afar off.  You comprehend my path and my lying down, and are acquainted with all my ways.”  Psalm 139: 1-3

“Your faith has made you well.  Go in peace, and be healed of your affliction.”  Mark 5: 34

Walking towards the scheduling room…realizing that in the midst of all the questions and unknows…God gave me much…He gave me time!

God is so familiar with my needs and my desires…despite being in discomfort…God knew that I would need time at the beach with my family…my place of refuge and delight…a church for one that is without one right now…

He knew that  not knowing would give me time to spend time with friends…travel to Las Vegas and worship corporately and privately…get the encouragement that I needed…spend time with a soul sister that I have been missing…

He knew that I would not want to miss shopping for my children’s school supplies, clothes and taking those all important first day pictures…

He knew that a quick fix surgery at the very beginning would not have helped me to put aside some bad habits…to run to Him for comfort and not something that is found in a bag or quickly unwrapped…day by day…week by week…the grip of food has lessened not only because it was mandatory but because its grip has been broken…but for God…

What a tender and merciful and mighty God we have…I am thankful that He helped me see today…it may have taken the full of 6 weeks but at least the vision came…earlier this year, the Lord gave me two words…pay attention…I am bound and determined to pay attention to His ways…His Word…

I am so thankful that the Lord is my Light and my Salvation…whom shall I fear?…Psalm 27 just rocks!

Thank you again for all your prayers…I have felt them…they have been the very tangible hand of God on my life…

“In my anguish I cried to the LORD, and he answered by setting me free.
The Lord is with me, I will not be afraid.
What can man do to me?
The Lord is with me; he is my helper.
I will look in triumph on my enemies.
It is better to take refuge in the LORD than to trust in man.
It is better to take refuge in the LORD than to trust in princes.”

Psalm 118: 5-9

**I would appreciate your prayers for Tuesday afternoon…that they will be able to do the procedure the less invasive way and not have to open me up…but either way that I will trust in Him for He is my delight!

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9 thoughts on “But for God…

  1. Oh, girl, I know exactly what you are talking about. I went through something similar with a “routine” surgery last fall. I was supposed to be back on my feet in a few weeks time but due to an issue of internal bleeding, I spent an extra three days in the hospital and eight weeks off my feet. All the time, God was telling me to Be Still. And making sure that I was. 🙂

    I am praying for you and for your surgery/recovery.

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  2. I am so thankful for the diagnosis and for your peace of mind. We can deal with gall bladders and you will soon feel so much better. Helen, you remain in my prayers, especially Tuesday when you will be having the surgery for God’s Hand itself to guide every move of the surgeon’s, for His Mind to infiltrate every decision that they make, for His peace to rule in your heart and guide you with all comfort in the coming days. Blessings and prayers, Love, Annette.

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  3. And I’m praying this morning, (Monday) for peace of mind as you wait! Stay securely fastened to His ever-catching arms. Let us know how you’re doing when you can. You remain–in my prayers. Love, Annette

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  4. Dropping by again this evening to say I’m praying for your speedy recovery. I am glad things went well with the surgery and now hopefully you are resting and feeling better each day. Love and prayers, Annette

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  5. Dear friend, I pray that all is well. I’ve been away on a family vacation to Disney and just returned.

    Praise God the doctors know what it going on with your gallbladder and praise Him still for the peace and insight He has given you.

    When you spoke about paying attention… well that just struck me. The Holy Spirit has been convicting me about paying attention in a particular area. He’s been trying to get my attention and I’ve been a stubborn listener, especially on the airline flight home last night when the young child in the seat behind me continued to kick the back of my seat while swinging her legs for two hours straight 😦

    Anyhow, I’m glad the Lord is our refuge and our help and strength.

    Take care dear friend and I’m praying for you.

    Love in Christ,
    Susan

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  6. Dear Helen,

    I hope you’re feeling all-better and back to normal soon. I read a wonderful verse the other day, about how God is worthy of all worship and praise, no matter what is going on. He is still on the throne, and always worthy of our worship!!!

    Psalm 29: 2, 10-11

    2 Give unto the LORD the glory due to His name;
    Worship the LORD in the beauty of holiness . . .

    10 The LORD sat enthroned at the Flood,
    And the LORD sits as King forever.
    11 The LORD will give strength to His people;
    The LORD will bless His people with peace.

    P.S. I was thinking about you today. I finally went to the post office, took a picture (that needs to last me for 10 years), and got my passport application in the mail. It took me forever to get to it, although it only took about an hour once I actually committed to do it. I kept hoping you’d beat me to that goal, and we still could tie. I didn’t put a rush order on my application, and they told me it would take about 3 weeks. Once you’re all back to normal, who knows what all God has for you. And it’s a good thing you won’t be having any gall bladder emergencies overseas (that would be terrible).

    I do hope you’re all better soon. God is still on the throne. And He loves you.

    Blessings to you!
    Ann

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  7. Helen
    Thanks for stopping by my gracenotes and leaving your encouragement.
    I’ve enjoyed reading your journey here – well, not enjoyed, exactly, but related-and enjoyed reading how God has met you in it all.
    My cat scan is tomorrow morning. I am praying that the doctors see it all very clearly and know just what to do!
    Thanks again.
    gracie

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