Struggling…a bit discouraged…

**Note…I originally was not going to post this…as you will see a new conclusion at the end…but this was the real me a few hours ago…and then once again encountering a very real God…

 

I have been a bit out of the blogging routine lately because we were on vacation…

During vacation, I had what I feel was the second of a big gall bladder attack…so although vacation was very fun…I also didn’t feel that great.

As I look back, I haven’t been feeling well for quite awhile and the nagging back ache that began in the beginning of June probably wasn’t a result of sleeping in an awkward position…it was most likely my body telling me something…which I ignored.

Now despite my own oblivion…I want the process to hurry up…I have been to urgent care, had blood work, an ultrasound, a study of my gall bladder, liver and kidneys…a lot of waiting rooms…still there is not that definitive diagnosis…

Today I was to have my surgical consult…but it has been cancelled…for very valid reasons…emergency surgery…so I lift up this unknown person that is in God’s hands…thankful that I am sitting here typing away…Caleb is eating lunch that Courtney fixed him…both girls are cleaning…because Mom always seems to  start cleaning when she feels a bit out of sorts with life…they hugged me and reassured me as I hung up the phone and will have a new appointment on August 25th…my birthday…and kept saying it will be okay as a few tears leaked from my eyes.

It will be okay…I do know that…there just won’t be a few questions answered today…and in the life…there are surely many more questions far more important than just why is my gall bladder so difficult to find?

Earlier this week, I told my friend Cheryl that I read this while waiting for my ultrasound appointment:

“All my longings lie open before you, O Lord;
my sighing is not hidden from you.”

Psalm 38: 9

I am thankful for a God who knows my deepest thoughts today and doesn’t think they are too whiny or puny…He sees and knows me…

Addendum:  My husband called and said to try a different clinic…I did…I have an appointment tomorrow afternoon…

Perhaps God didn’t want me driving in this tumultous stormy weather today…perhaps He is still helping me tune up trusting in Him…and being content…

Today I am convinced and comforted yet again that He heard my longings and sighs and facilitated movement on my behalf.

To Him be the praise!

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6 thoughts on “Struggling…a bit discouraged…

  1. Helen, I am so sorry you have been feeling bad for so long. It can really wear you down. Glad you will be getting in tomorrow instead of your birthday! You need to see if they can’t get you feeling better soon. It’s hard to keep up with Caleb I bet with not feeling 100%. It’s raining here in Houston, too. You are in my prayers and I’m sending a hug, too. I wished I were seeing you in San Antone this weekend, but I’d rather you get well. Love, Annette

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  2. Oh dear Helen I am so sad to hear you are not doing well. My sister had some problems with her gallbladder. It can be very painful.

    I recently had an MRI of my back. It’s been over a year and I’m still having problems. I just got back from vacation to and have to schedule a follow-up with a muscle-skeletal specialist. We’ll see what they say. I keep giving it to the Lord like you.

    I’ll be praying for you and please – have a happy birthday my dear. It seems we’re both August girls. Mine was on the 10th. May you have a special day with your family.

    Your friend,
    Susan

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  3. Hi Annette,
    Thanks for the prayers…and I wish I was in San Antonio as well…I can’t wait to hear from all you siestas how it was…I am sure so much fun and great to meet so many!

    I am trying hard to keep up on cover to cover…maybe I will surprise myself and actually write a post on Monday!

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  4. Hi Susan,
    I miss you…that’s what summer does to us…but it will be fall soon enough!

    I am so sorry about your back…a year is quite a long time to be aware of it not being 100%…my prayers are that you will see the right specialists and they can get you to a place of comfort and healing.

    Oh…happy belated birthday…August birthdays are nice aren’t they…there are no other holidays…except our birthdays that is…(smiles)

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  5. kimz says:

    dear friend, decided to read your recent posts on your birthday eve. You and i have talked and as i prepared my heart to worship today i sent up a prayer for you. that in the midst of whatever this is that is plagueing your body God’s prescence will rest on you. It is the times that we are willing to risk being vulnerable that seems to be the greatest effectiveness in ministry. love you bunches “stay real” kimz

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  6. Hey Kim…
    Yes, you always tell me to keep it real…this one was a tough one…I have come close to deleting it many times…hard to look at but yet without it I wouldn’t remember how God continues to draw near…and I wouldn’t want to miss that for anything…even a little bit of discomfort.

    Bless you my dear friend…and I love you bunches too!

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